It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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