Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
this is an emotional support booty call
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
