I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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