idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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