Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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