It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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