ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
