I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
not ubering you a puppy
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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