honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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