"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
