I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
