I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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