Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
