i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
