You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
