In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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