i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
