I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
