I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can tuck mytits in my pants
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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