when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize