We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
