i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
