i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
