her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
