dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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