Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
