i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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