we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
