Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
