But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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