i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
