I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
