we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
