Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
