I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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