His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
