so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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