Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
