Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
