im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
do herpes really smell.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
