Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
