Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
