What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
