Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
