Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think your dad took our porno
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
