Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
