you guys were way drunker than both of me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Randomize
