I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
