hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
