Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
